My mother just lent me a folder of press material about my work that she's collected over the years. In it I found the article below. It's from December 1998. I think that was just before my first novel was released. Clearly, I had a busy month! My friend Sudharshan is a choreographer, and he'd created a piece on me (i.e. to be danced specifically by me). I'd been taking dance lessons on and off since I was ten years old, but this was to be my first time performing on stage. I was nervous as hell. I dance well, but even as a skinny ten year-old, I'd been hearing that I didn't have the "right build" for dance (translation; "That round African butt of yours isn't the kind of line we want to see in a tutu"). I left ballet early on and started taking classes in modern dance, African dance and jazz. No-one there complained about my behind, but I still hadn't managed to leave the body tyranny behind. As I got older and bigger, the tut-tutting became, "You know you're going to have to lose weight if you want to become a dancer." I did try, but my body had other ideas. Even at my fittest, leanest and strongest -- I was an aerobics instructor for many years -- I am a sturdy-built soul. That was part of the reason that Sudharshan wanted to make a piece of dance for my body. He liked the combination of size, strength and flexibility.

There was another issue, though. In 1998, my fibromyalgia was probably at its worst. I was achy and quickly losing my flexibility. I had to warm up for a full hour before I danced. And my calves had developed a habit of suddenly going into extreme, painful spasm. I warned Sudharshan that if it happened on stage, all I'd be able to do was drop to the floor and start screaming, and they'd have to carry me off. He thought about it and said, "If it happens, it happens." He was extraordinary to train with; calm and patient and friendly. He created his movements based on my capabilities -- and then pushed those capabilities further than I thought I could go. It was scary, but it was big fun. I am usually fat, I am disabled, and there I was, not just dancing at a club, but performing on stage! I ended up dancing that piece for Sudharshan at Buddies in Bad Times Theatre, at The Theatre Centre, in the theatre at the York Woods Public Library (afterwards, an audience member told me that she hadn't realised that fat people could move like that), and in the Harbourfront Centre Pond while wearing a six-foot long train. (Sudharshan was taking part in a Bill James project called "Water Sources," a programme of dance performed outdoors near bodies of water. Only my dear friend decided that his piece would be performed right in the water.) That was thirteen years ago. It doesn't feel like very long at all, but I'd completely forgotten about the Toronto Star article until I saw it again last Sunday;

To read it at full size, click here.